my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
