She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
