my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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