best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
