So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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