You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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