If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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