The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
