How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
