I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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