I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
