Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize