sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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