you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
