Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
