I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
