I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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