you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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