I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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