so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
