I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
