just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
