my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
