maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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