Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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