Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
