the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
