genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
