im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
