we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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