im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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