Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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