whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
