I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize