Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
