he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
