Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
