butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
