i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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