it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
