Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize