please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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