She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
