i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
