sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
