Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
