I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
