Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
