Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
