my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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