I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
