Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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