i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
