i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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