There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Randomize
