Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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