i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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